Yesterday, while I was debating whether to kill myself or finish the accounting homework, Pinterest sent me an email. This itself is not unusual. Despite the fact that I haven’t been active on Pinterest in months (even to update my Hot Dead Guys board,) Pinterest is hoping I come back often for the click$, so they send me emails when someone repins my pins,when someone starts following me, and sometimes, just to be nice.
As you may be aware, I like to buy shit online.Especially for the house.
There is nothing more exciting than buying shit online, except buying shit online that you’re psychologically motivated into buying by the combination of never-ending innovation of American consumerist practices and Pinterest.
I want to bake one-minute bread in the comfort of my own home. I want to simmer foolproof minestrone. I want to make an advent calendar out of baby socks. I want to incorporate exotic fruit into latkes. I want to keep calm and carry on. I want to find the right ponytail for boudoir photography. I want to arrange all of my M.A.C. brand Winter 2012 Edition makeup in a symmetrical container. I need to look sweaty while I am not sweating in head-to-toe Lululemon. I want to take a picture of only my leopard-print ballet flats looking out shyly from in the corner of the frame. #nofilter