I want to bake one-minute bread in the comfort of my own home.  I want to simmer foolproof minestrone. I want to make an advent calendar out of baby socks.  I want to incorporate exotic fruit into latkes.  I want to keep calm and carry on. I want to find the right ponytail for boudoir photography. I want to arrange all of my M.A.C. brand Winter 2012 Edition makeup in a symmetrical container. I need to look sweaty while I am not sweating in head-to-toe Lululemon.  I want to take a picture of only my leopard-print ballet flats looking out shyly from  in the corner of the frame. #nofilter

I need my house to embody the spirit of a gentle December snow for Christmas. I need to take artistic photos  of a delicate summer bouquet perched carefully on a branch. I need to make a chair out of books and photograph it on a hardwood floor. I need to join a CSA that charmingly writes out all of its offerings on a blackboard.  I need to photograph my Starbucks green tea frappuccino. I need more chevrons in my life. I need chocolate mustaches.  I need to do something, anything, with Mason jars.  I need to arrange candles tastefully around a sunset.

I’m blasting through my weight loss plateau.  I’m putting a bow on a corgi.  I’m making Hanukkah cupcakes. I’m buying carefully-stacked vintage luggage. I’m curating my possessions. I’m buying a wedding dress that costs more than the average American makes in a month. I’m organizing a photography shoot including a fur stole and an old camera as soon as possible. I’m tying an inedible bow around an edible cake on a slim 1950s-era pedestal.

I need to make my house look amazing using only pink duct tape. I need to lose those last 100 pounds. I need liquid-lined cat eyes.   I need to have three organic babies and put hand-knit socks on all of them. I need to make my husband wear hand-crafted shirts and a bowtie. I need to spend $40 on a piece of cloth that will perpetually house olive oil stans.

I need to create whole boards dedicated to achieving the perfect hair, the perfect reading nook, the perfect SEO strategy for my vintage cupcake blog.

I need to be different from everyone else.

I need to be pinteresting.