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Can anyone recommend a house cleaner who will not murder us?

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I am looking for someone to give our house a good spring cleaning.  Here’s a before shot:

Don’t get me wrong, Mr. B and I spend around hours every week cleaning our house.  But as soon as it’s clean on Sundays, it magically starts to become dirty again, and thus the cycle restarts.  We also haven’t deep-cleaned for months, meaning there are some corners where it’s possible the fifth dimension exists amongs the lush vegetation and spider webs. Our domovoi is probably angry.

When you add the fact that right now my MBA and the ebook have top after-work priority, and for Mr. B is working on two online classes, you get something extremely terrifying.

So, Mr. B and I are trying to hire someone to take care of it in a deep spring cleaning.  The problem is that we are afraid of Russian cleaning ladies and even more afraid to hire an American one that we don’t know.

This is how our conversation about it went the other day.

Me: Maybe we should hire someone Russian?  Don’t you know some family members that have cleaning ladies?
Mr. B: *pointed look* Yes, but do you really want that?
Me: What do you mean?
Mr. B: Cause they’re going to come by and sooner or later it’ll get back to us. “Oh, Vicki and Mr. B?  THAT Vicki and Mr. B? Yeah, my aunt’s sister’s cousin’s brother’s niece cleaned their house last week, and let me tell you all about it.
Me: Good point.
Mr. B:  Do you really want some Russian women you don’t know telling the Russian women you do know what’s inside of your house and what a disgrace it is?
Me: Hm.
Mr. B: *mimics older Russian woman in Russian* Oh, Zoyachka. Those young people, the way they live-I disapprove of everything. And let me tell you all about it.

So, we are still looking for a house cleaner. Preferably one that won’t murder us, or gossip about us. Although at this point, I don’t know which is worse.

6 Comments Join the Conversation

  1. I would try a grouping or a living social or something. They Isuzu have pretty good one-time deals. If you like the person/company, you can always go back to them. If you don’t, no obligation. Another bonus: nobody needs to know.

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    • I actually filtered my email for Groupon a while ago because they were only sending like, liposuction for your cat and other useless stuff. Off to check my filters

      Reply

  2. I should start my own cleaning company. Call it “Loose Lips Sink Ships” or something like that, with the tagline, “We’ll never tell.”

    I do baseboards and windows.

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    • I am curious as to how many people would actually like that. Or “We don’t judge.”

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  3. Ask coworkers for recommendations. When I was working full-time we had someone come in once a year for a good deep-clean – funnily enough, always right before Pesach… hmmm…

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