The Free Dignity Blog Giveaway!

Hi!  I’m a blogger and I used to be really cool and funny and as a result, I got TONS of traffic.  And, OMG advertisers started e-mailing me, too, which makes me feel really important.  So instead of writing the smart, moving, and beautifully-written content that I got noticed for, I am whoring myself out for a $20 Steak n’ Shake Maker, $100 Knife, or a book that I could have potentially bought by foregoing my weekly latte.  And I really want that Steak n’Shake!  But I also want you to have one so you can leave over 100 comments on my blog and drive up traffic!  Nothing makes my day more than more blog traffic.  Well, except for a Stake n’ Shake.  Or an Anthropologie top.

So, today, to commemorate the fact that I no longer consider myself a writer but more like those people flipping signs off the Rockville Pike, I’m giving away one (1) free (of no value) MY DIGNITY to a commenter picked by a random-number generator that I hold over your head to make me feel important.

To enter the giveaway:

  1. Make sure to leave a comment.  Or, actually, at least two.  Yeah, definitely at least two comments. With your email address. So I can spam you later.
  2. The comment has to be about how much you hate your own dignity by leaving fawning comments on my blog. Do you love my hair today?  Make sure to tell me!  I really need to hear it!  How about the wall color behind me in the picture?  Does my heavily-Photoshopped fantasy life strike your fancy?  Please justify my life choices in the comments!
  3. The person with the saddest comment will receive all of my dignity.  Leave your email address so I can send it to you, along with a 20-cent coupon for Target.
Oh yeah, here are the entry limitations.  Silly FTC!
  • Limit one (1) entry per person, unless you want to leave comments under pseudonyms. That’s totally cool. It boosts my comment count.
  • Giveaway opens and closes whenever I feel like it, because in this little part of the blogosphere with three readers, I am your own personal God. Or Oprah. Whichever you believe in.
  • There will only be one winner. My dignity is really small. Sorry about that.
  • Go! Fight! Win!



22 thoughts on “The Free Dignity Blog Giveaway!

  1. Hey, I fawned over you last comment.  Seriously, this is just asking TOO MUCH.  (But pick me anyway, because I could always use an extra Dignity.  You know, for nights I go out drinking and trip over in the club and then share my revelation about managing Ford Motor Company since they no longer have even one minivan which a lot of taxis use so they’re missing out on a whole market, you know? to strangers which I think is hilarious but them not so much.)

    :)  PS I hate blog giveaways.  Although I did enter one once and I DID NOT WIN SO THAT WAS THE END OF THAT. 

    1. Do you really pretend you’re the CEO of GM when you’re drunk?  Because that’s awesome. 

      I’ve never entered so I’m not bitter or anything, but giveaways are one of the slimy barnacles of self-promotion on the otherwise interesting world of blogging.  

      1. I have a lot of stupid ideas when I’m drunk.  Actually I don’t really think it’s reserved just for when I’m drunk, but I tend to swear a lot more.  So did I win yet?  

    1. It’s not a “shot” at any one person, but more of a shot at a problem that I think is endemic in the blogosphere in general. Sometimes, I think we are too willing to sell out our writing skills for a free commercial for companies that have nothing to do with our interests as bloggers.  And what’s the point?   So just think of it as an angry Holden Caulfield everyone is a fake post ;)

      I think the issue is that I see bloggers as real writers and giveaways are like infomercials.  Of course, not everyone has this point of view.  

      1. One of my favorite shelter blogs, Young House Love, does lots of giveaways, but only of products they actually like. It might have been an effort to draw more people to the blog at first, but the blog is big enough now that they have the luxury of offering things regardless of how many people will enter — they don’t need to drive traffic to their site. They also have a policy I respect a lot: they don’t accept prizes or free stuff for themselves. When they talk about a product, it’s because they genuinely like it, use it, and think it might be useful to others.

        1. I’ve actually not been liking YHL lately precisely because they have so many giveaways as filler.  It’s at least once a week.  Honestly, I don’t care about the inspirational quote stickers.  Just write about your house.  I think they’re doing filler because they’re writing the book, but their blog is suffering as a result.  I also like their product policy.  It’s ballsy for a blog that relies on ad revenue. 

  2. Haha hilarious. I was actually thinking of having a giveaway… you’re right, so I can drive away traffic. But also so I can get rid of books, because I have way too many that I do not need :D Sound good?
    Oh, and I have indeed won giveaways. Those were some happy days. Haha.

    1. I myself am a huge hypocrite because I would totally want, like, a gift basket full of Nutella or something.  But the problem is that when you have giveaways, in my opinion, it undermines your content and the traffic spike never lasts.  Just keep writing good stuff.  What kinds of books are you thinking about?  And that’s probably different if you already have them lying around rather than having commercial companies send them to you for promotion? 

      1. Yeah, I just thought of giving away some social change-related books that I have lying around. I haven’t actually been contacted for promotions like that. I don’t think my blog is that popular ;-)
        I guess I’m ok with having more traffic for one day. Who knows. Maybe some of them will stick around?

  3. Second QUALITY comment:
    OMG I WUZ ALMOST F1RST!!!11111!!!!!11
    Now you have two comments worthy of every famous internet blog and popular YouTube video.  And it’s okay if I don’t win.  Adulthood has already robbed me of all my dignity.  I have to WORK and STUDY to pay for my Netflix account.  The nerve of it, really.  

  4. Well I like you just the way you are, so keep your dignity and bring on the funny.
    Also I now feel a bit crappy since I am giving away tickets For a great venue on Friday and I am so pleased with my self, because I am just spreading the joy and encouraging giving away a give away. But now I feel a bit of a sell out. Not that I got paid for it, but still.
    So why don’t you swing by on Friday and if you win you can give the Tickets away.

    1. This pessimist did not consider that people give stuff away just because they want to make other people feel happy.  I need to rethink my life philosophy. 

  5. Anthropologie. I visit their website much as I do that of NieNie, to imagine an alternate universe in which I have unlimited money and time, and children entertain themselves. I have no dignity. Instead I have a 5 year old, and the ability to do the Hokey Pokey and turn myself around. Ad nauseum.

    1. Ok, so apparently there are whole blogs dedicated to shopping at Anthropologie. Just Google “anthropologie blogs” and check out the first four. Who are these people? 

  6. I probably would have been offended if it weren’t for that charmingly disarming video of lemmings.  Lemmings!  You won me over with that.
    It seems like you are a literary blog purist, which is kind of hard core, and I give you mad props for that.  I used to also think that giveaways were useless infomercials.  Then the capitalist in me reared her head as I realized that I could MAKE MONEY and get FREE THINGS.     
    I haven’t actually done a giveaway on my blog, but I’m planning on doing a few in the relatively near future (cough cough you should all visit my blog and drive up the traffic, thank you in advance).  If my readers only want to read my non-giveaway posts, they are welcome to.   
    Also, to prove that I am capable of altruism, the first giveaway I wanted to do was in order to promote one a friend of mine’s fantastic embroidery business, ’cause she’s very talented, and I thought it would be nice to send a little more business her way.   

    1. I guess I am kind of a purist.  But I don’t mind if people do one once in a while, especially if it’s for promoting other people or charity organizations.  But really I just am not a big fan of the  consumer culture on blogs.  

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