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Life is not fair. If it were, I would be having my eggs peeled for me at Downton Abbey right now.

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The absolute best thing to do when one is cold, alone, and without the comforts of Nutella to aid one’s diet is to warm up a nice spot of tea and watching hot British people in the 1920s be assholes to each other.

Luckily for one (me), a series that has already aired in Britain has just made its way over to America: Downton Abbey .  I love watching shows about class relations, history, and pretty hats, so I’ve been hitting the PBS website pretty hard, trying to find out when a new episode is up.  I have also been dreaming about living at the estate.

Although there’s no way I’m a secret duchess or even a baroness, I can always dream about outsourcing some things in my life to make it easier, right?

A Footman for starting the car before I go to work since it’s COLD, COLD, COLD, and most importantly, foot massages after a long run.  A Porter for carrying my laptop to and from work. A Butler for telling me what kind of wine I can bring to parties without people knowing that it cost $10.99.  And, of course, a scullery maid to do the endless stacks of dishes.  From Wikipedia: “The scullery maid also assisted in cleaning vegetables.” Excellent.  I can have her peel my oranges.

Doesn’t it suck that, nowadays, you have to be your own footman, butler, porter, scullerymaid, housemaid, housekeeper, and valet?  No wonder we never have enough hours in the day: we are doing the jobs of at least seven people at once.

Oh well.  I guess it’s a tradeoff for not having to wear corsets, riding sidesaddle, and marrying your cousin, each of which is more uncomfortable than the next.

7 Comments Join the Conversation

  1. Yay for Britishness! I’m putting this on my Netflix list. We only just finished the 2005 version of Bleak House and I’m dying for some more period dramas.

    I do really wish I had someone to do the laundry and parallel park for me, though; you’re right about that. I keep reversing my car into objects I fail to notice are behind me, and it would be nice to at least have someone to blame for that other than myself.

    Reply

    • Huzzah! You’ll have to tell me how you like it, and whether you have any peerage in your family that I could take advantage of.

      I’m an excellent driver but the worst parker in the world. I would love a chauffer.

      Reply

  2. I’ve been thinking about your post all day. It reminds me of a discussion I had with a friend about how women going in some large numbers into paid work has changed our whole domestic and economic structure. It used to be that even families of modest means had “help” (and not just in the South), because that was how young women and girls learned to run their own households – as sort of apprentices in other women’s homes. We’ve totally lost that help at home and have to do it all ourselves. Of course, now we have other choices besides being home makers, but women are still doing all the domestic work as well.

    Reply

    • I could write a whole post about how women still do more housework than men, and not because men are assholes (which, sometimes they are,) but also because we’re wired differently. it makes me rage.

      Reply

  3. Yeah, not that one can’t become a baroness easily; you can’t even get to watch other people playing one easily ordered it on Netflix and it says : very long wait for each disk…..

    Reply

    • I told you you can watch it online. But you refuse to because then you can’t be in bed and watch it.

      I think some people are more like baronesses than they think.

      Love,
      your daughter.

      Reply

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