I Got 99 Problems but Naming a Puppy Ain’t One (Yet)
Here in the Philadelphia branch of the Boykis household, we love PUPPIES. We love dogs. So much so that some of us even tried to have a dog research service when we were 8 by checking out dog breed books from the library and pestering our parents to ask us questions so we could research a breed.
We never pass up the opportunity to play with, pet, or kiss dogs, we still miss our sweet collie, Babe, that died after our sophomore year of college, and we would someday like a dog of our own once the merger with the Washington branch is complete. If the Washington branch lets us have a dog. We promise we will take care of it and walk it at 5 in the morning. We’re already awake anyway.
Lately, the Philadelphia branch has become rather unproductive because we’ve been watching this video at least five times a day. Life is so unfair. It seems like I, I mean the Philadelphia branch, have to oppress a whole country in order to get a cuddly puppy of my own. I’m thinking the Bulgarians gave him the puppy so he wouldn’t invade Bulgaria. Russians even had the chance to democratically name the puplet (original Russian here)!
My vote is for Grechka (buckwheat) because he looks kind of like buckwheat or, if that doesn’t work, Stop Voting for Bullshit and Start Letting People Vote for Things That Actually Matter .