Superbowl Commercials


On Sunday, I watched the Super Bowl.  And by watched, I mean pretended to watch it because, even after over 15 years in America since my early youth and attending one of the biggest football schools in the country, I still have no idea what the rules of American football are.  “Now the offensive team has a chance to complete a touchdown,” Mr. B caringly pointed out to me after I kept yelling at him that I had no idea what was going on. “Then they have four chances to make a play.”    How does he know these things?  Probably picked it up in Engineering school while I was slacking off in my Hebrew minor (Eich omrim “American football evades me” bivrit?)

What held my attention the most, though, wasn’t the actual Superbowl (which made things even more confusing since there were two people named Peyton ON OPPOSITE SIDES) but the commercials, which I watch every year as a barometer of the way American society is slowly turning into the Roman Empire.  I personally am rooting for the Gauls.

Which is where this came in:

[On Sunday, I watched the Super Bowl.  And by watched, I mean pretended to watch it because, even after over 15 years in America since my early youth and attending one of the biggest football schools in the country, I still have no idea what the rules of American football are.  “Now the offensive team has a chance to complete a touchdown,” Mr. B caringly pointed out to me after I kept yelling at him that I had no idea what was going on. “Then they have four chances to make a play.”    How does he know these things?  Probably picked it up in Engineering school while I was slacking off in my Hebrew minor (Eich omrim “American football evades me” bivrit?)

What held my attention the most, though, wasn’t the actual Superbowl (which made things even more confusing since there were two people named Peyton ON OPPOSITE SIDES) but the commercials, which I watch every year as a barometer of the way American society is slowly turning into the Roman Empire.  I personally am rooting for the Gauls.

Which is where this came in:

](http://www.bostonherald.com/news/columnists/view/20100209why_are_those_super_bowl_ad_execs_so_mad_at_women/)

Methinks there are a couple of things going on here.  First, for some reason, advertisers and America in general think men are now not masculine enough.  Hence, websites like Art of Manliness that try to bring men back to being Mad Men.  But-pro tip-if you’re already “manly” (whatever that means), you’re already doing it and not talking about it, and certainly not on blog discussion forums.

The best example I have of someone that’s “manly” is my dad.  He has no clue what Art of Manliness is and he doesn’t spend days agonizing over whether he should grow a mustache or get a pair of Chinos.  But he has fixed everything in our house- our basement when it flooded, multiple cars over multiple years without taking them to a mechanic, our refrigerator, numerous televisions that other people would just throw out, my laptop, and on and on.   Additionally, he doesn’t let anyone talk smack about my mom and makes me feel safe.  And doesn’t brag it up that he’s being “all manly” and removing his skirt.  He’s also gone clothes-shopping with my mom numerous times. Newsflash: if you feel emasculated going shopping with your wife, you have more issues than a FlowTV can fix.

Second, women for some reason always need to be put down, as evidenced by this commercial:

And the text,

“I will take your call. I will listen to your opinion of my friends. I will listen to your friends’ opinion of my friends. I will be civil to your mother. I will put the seat down. I will separate the recycling. I will carry your lip balm. I will watch your vampire TV shows with you … and because I do this, I. Will. Drive. The. Car. I. Want. To. Drive. Dodge Charger. Man’s Last Stand.”

That just sounds like marriage.  Not really making big sacrifices here, guys.   The proper response, I think, can only best be described by this comment.