Remember when I was writing my novel? And everything was going AWESOME? And I was all up in the plot? And you were helping tremendously?
Well, now I’ve handed it over to Editor Vicki for the first round of revisions. And it’s horrible. It’s the most horrible novel known to man, even including Vogon poetry. It’s so horrible, Editor Vicki constantly makes disparaging comments, about the plot, the wording, the themes expressed in the novel, and the characters, including poor Michael, who hasn’t done anything except he’s just trying to move out of his parents’ house.
Editor Vicki is evil, and she kills my will to live with her frequent, nasty comments,
If my editor doesn’t cut out making these depraved remarks, I am going to have to fire her. Or maybe stab her. Because I don’t see how else I can keep working on my manuscript without constructive criticism.
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You know the other day, my piano was seen to after a long time. First he repitched middle C, then he tuned it, then he fine-tuned it. Before all this he had taken the keys to his workshop to repair some of the ivories. You are beyond the key repair stage but in repitching. Don’t stab Editor Vicki yet. When it is all fine-tuned, it will be, well, fine.
Ah, but the key here is that the tuner didn’t come in, think the piano looked strange, smashed it with a hammer, and built a new piano
Thanks for the encouragement.
Welcome to stage two of Nanowrimo! (Yes, it’s that awful.
I’m trying to convince myself that my short stories from 2007 are somehow salvageable.)
How’s it going. Did you finish this year? Are you going to try to edit that, too?
Try replacing “dirty Jersey” with “N.E.W. Jerz where plenty murders occurs”. It’s stylistic flourishes like this that will really help to bring your story alive.
Thanks for the pro tip. I was reading Texts from Last Night, last night, and one guy was exstatic that he found out he could, in history class, abbreviate Thomas Paine as T. Pain. I need him to be my editor.