Feb 4, 2010
The Snowpocalypse Rains Down Calamity and Soviet Russia on DC
You probably won’t hear from me next week, because I’ll be snowed under. You may have heard that the DC area is scheduled to be obliterated like Atlantis over the weekend due to the snowpocalypse that will occur:
As a result, all Hell has broken loose in the DC region and my local Giant supermarket has turned into a stunning example of Soviet breadlines that my parents lived through. I can only say, Lord have mercy on yuppies like me that have had to experience alarming shortages of Danon Extra Bacteria Yogurt. There was no milk in our store.
Sorry. I mean NO ORGANIC GREEN VEGETABLES OF ANY KIND. AND NO LOCALLY-SOURCED CUCUMBERS.
And look at this government worker from Rockville crying into her ordinary parsley. OH, THE HUMANITY. ONLY RED PEPPERS. NO GREEN.
There was only soy milk. No regular, skim milk. HOW WILL I SURVIVE THE SNOWPOCALYPSE?
And no Post cereals. Only generic brand. This is inhumane.
Others have also noticed the horrors.
I’m with you buddy. It was exactly like Soviet Russia.
If you don’t hear from me, I’ve perished in the yuppie food riots.
Ahhhh, Montgomery County. Nothing has changed (except more yuppies).
That’s even possible?
LOL #snOMG. The hysteria kind of resembles our mini rush at all things wool and fluffy as people were getting ready for a snowy Jerusalem yesterday. Alas, they were disappointed as no snow occured anywhere south of the Golan.
I hear Jerusalem shuts down at rumors of snow in Lebanon.
Just perfect. I love watching the snow coverage in NYC, where they show all suburbanites flooding to the store to get MILK! Because their own cows are snowed in or something.
Our definitely were.
omg this is so funny vicks! i should come to your blog more often! i love your little description, you’re so cute!
You should come here more often. As an American citizen, you are now obligated by law .
Who cares about milk and salad? Don’t you know that in freezing temperatures you should eat high-calorie foods? As long as there’s chocolate and, I don’t know coconut milk and butter and stuff, you’re good. But the WFM does look kind of scary all deserted and messy.
Thanks for stopping by! Fortunately the store was definitely not out of chocolat, so we were safe.
Yes DC got snow but DC also acts like actual mentally retarded children when it comes to handling it. They just throw their hands in the air and are all, Oh Well!
I drove to the gym today and it was still not plowed everywhere. I thought I was going to die at least 5 times. And that was just leaving my development.
Here in the Willamette Valley, we apparently have 1 snowplow for the whole county. Which covers an area the size of Massachusetts. (Yes, they grow big states out west.)
People out in the high desert handle snow very well – just put chains on the car and drive slow. Here, they basically let it sit on the roads until spring.
Or a week.
Since the break between fall and spring is rarely more than a week and a half.
Did I mention we have flowers blooming?
Aaaarg.
So it’s already warm out there? No wonder we instituted manifest destiny.