This Tu B’Shvat, I’m buying a donkey and a plane ticket to Haifa

Tu B’Shvat, the Jewish festival for the birthday of the trees, is tonight.   Since it’s been a while that I’ve been part of something Jewish (living with Mr. B does not count as doing something Jewish, although sometimes I try to pass it off as such,)  I wanted to celebrate, which involves planting trees and eating fruits of the Torah (pomegranates, dates, olives, and Bamba.)

Unfortunately, we don’t have any Bamba and Mr. B hates olives in the same way that Hamas and Fatah hate each other.   So, instead, I tried to get Mr. B and myself enthused about going to a Tu B’Shvat event, namely this event by the awesome awesome Sixth and I (where we’ve gone for stuff before).  Here is a description of the event:

Embrace your inner environmentalist by joining us for a Tu B’Shvat celebration. Dine and drink your way through a traditional seder as we sprinkle in tasty Kabbalistic tidbits and nature-inspired yoga poses. Tu B’Shvat; its more than just trees.

Tu B’Shvat, traditionally known as the birthday of the trees, is a time to think about relating to the natural world. This holiday can be celebrated by planting trees, eating fruits, and having a Tu B’Shvat seder, a ritual that began with the Kabbalists of the 15th century. At our seder, we’ll enjoy some new and exotic fruits, discuss issues of sustainability, and discover connections between environmentalism and Judaism.

Not to be a drag, but yoga poses?  Really?  And sustainability?  I hate that word more than Mr. B hates olives.   Which makes me wonder, what have we as a Jewish people turned into?

Here’s how hipsters spend Tu B’Shvat:

Please take note of:

  • The ironic hipster glasses
  • The ironic bright orange almost American Apparel-like tee
  • The ironic non-leggings sweatpants meant to resemble sweatpants from the 1980s
  • The ironic laugh

And here’s how real Jews spent Tu B’Shvat.  You know, building the land of Israel.  Although Guy on the Left’s yoga shorts look really comfy.  He probably got them at American Apparel.


I think, through all of this, it’s incredibly important not to underestimate the blows to his sanity that Mr. B experiences on a regular basis by being married to me:




15 thoughts on “This Tu B’Shvat, I’m buying a donkey and a plane ticket to Haifa

  1. It’s a really cool tradition to start … there are all kinds of different Tu B’Shevat seders and haggadot. If you go to a seder, you get to drink 4 cups of wine and eat 15 different kinds of fruit. Knowing that, I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to host a Tu B’Shevat seder tonight. I even made my own haggadah.

  2. Just to put it out there, we only did three simple yoga poses. :P Most of the night consisted of reading Jewish texts and eating fruit. (Great pic tho!)

    I would agree that yoga is a bit out there, but not so much with sustainability. What do you think the folks in your Israeli photo are doing, after all?

    1. Mmmm eating fruit.

      Yeah, I agree that they’re doing sustainability but they’re not really talking about it. I don’t know why, but I really think the word sustainability is pretentious and I just imagine people in black turtlenecks talking about it. Hold it. I guess I’m imagining Steve Jobs. :)

  3. We’re planning to fill the kids up with fruit and let them loose in the backyard to climb the apple trees. And dig in the sandbox. And probably to poke each other in the eyes with small, sharp sticks. (Hey, if they do it three holidays in a row, it’s minhag!)

    1. I haven’t seen any around Potomac, but I’ll have to keep my eyes open. They usually have them in my Russian supermarket in Philly, along with Shtrauss Ice cream. mmm.

  4. Dag! Wish I’d known. I always think of Tu B’Shvat as a February holiday. Sort of an earlier version of Lag B’Omer.

    Such an educated Yid am I.

    Belated Happy Birthday, Trees!

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